Finding God

I’m sure by now you have heard of the events that have been unfolding in Japan. Severe devastation has completely shattered any sense of security for these people; thousands upon thousands of Japanese citizens have been declared dead and still more are categorized as missing. I have to be honest with you. Though the devastation is immense and the affect on these people is so great, I have been having a hard time truly empathizing with these people. It’s not that I don’t care – I can’t imagine having to deal with catastrophe of this magnitude – I simply don’t feel connected in any way. I haven’t watched television since August and I don’t have the internet at my apartment, so I obtain my news from the Wall Street Journal at school or glance at CNN.com while I’m on campus every now and then. I initially heard the news through Facebook that morning. The damage to Japan seemed enormous, and the videos that were being streamed were surreal. Yet despite the conveniences of modern-day tec...

You might think that I have it all together. You may have seen me do a few nice things here and there, – volunteer at church, pay for an elderly woman’s bus pass, give lunch to a homeless man – but the fact that I may have done a few good deeds in my life is not going to save me. If you truly knew me, I don’t think you would consider me to be a ‘good’ person, certainly not anywhere on the spectrum close to “perfect”. I am a broken human being and the mess that I’ve created in my wake is something that I can never repair. I lie, I cheat, I steal. I remember being called a “goody two-shoes”, but I spent nearly an entire school-year’s worth of Sundays looking at pornography in my dorm room rather than going to church. I’ve jumped out of the back window of a house because I was afraid of being caught by the police at an underage drinking party. I’ve spent countless hours of my life lusting after other women and I’ve struggled with greed, envy, bitterness, anger, and self-worth. I hav...