Finding God

I write this blog for myself more than anything. Many times I sit down with the intent to create a story or personal testimony that will affect someone else in a positive or convicting way. I like to turn mundane occurrences into experiential life lessons. But it seems that, more often than not, these stories refuse to fit the mold I try to shape them into. More often than not, these stories are written for me, and for me only. It seems that whatever I write evolves into a story tailored to fit me and my personal struggles. The problem with this, however, is that it often leads to very real feelings of conviction. Sometimes I read back through my previous blog entries and find myself wondering why I acted the way I did in those situations. Sometimes I approve of my past actions, and other times I am utterly ashamed or angry that I have ever done such a thing. This entry is about the latter feelings of remorse and helplessness. I am a sinner. I am broken beyond repair, and the...

About a month ago one of my good friends followed the call of God and moved to Austin, TX to begin a new chapter in his life. He used to serve as the worship leader and associate pastor of the church that I currently attend. He also started a high school youth ministry while he was here. I had volunteered to be a part of the team back in late September, simply to help out where I could and possibly gain some experience in the field of ministry. I had never lead a group of high school teens before, and would never claim to be well-versed in the area of ministry by any means.  I would consider myself to be a fairly "new" Christian, considering that I spent the first nineteen years of my life faking my way through religion. I have never read the entire Bible, I don't have many verses memorized, and I haven't lead anyone to Christ since I was in the second grade. It's clear that I don't have the experience or the expertise anywhere near what is required of ...

It’s time to get dirty. Roll up your sleeves, pick up a shovel, and dig in. If you claim to be a follower of Christ, you better be living out your faith – on a daily basis. So many proclaimed “Christians” live out their entire lives without significantly impacting the lives of those around them. We were not called to live comfortably or casually. We are all called to very specific purposes, ones in which we are to fall in love with our Savior, ultimately compelling us to share the Love that He has so graciously given us to those around us. But how many of us actually do that? Don’t you realize what He has done for us? Don’t you claim to follow Jesus? He died for us. He gave up His very life to save our broken souls from what we deserved – an eternity separated from any semblance of hope. If you have grown up in America, you know full well the promises that this country so proudly offers – “The American Dream”. If you work hard, you will ultimately become wealthy and/or ...

**This blog is saturated with scripture. I chose not to quote directly because I want to encourage you to dig deep into the Word. Read this with a Bible next to you. Read the verses and challenge yourself to think differently. Be honest with yourself; live it out. Love God // Love People. *       *       *       *      *       *       *       *      * “Welcome to church, where we sing songs and don’t mean it, say that we serve and love others but never do it, read the Bible but don’t apply it, pray for the Holy Spirit but ignore it, and stay cooped up and happy in our little church building so we don’t have to share our faith or confront the reality of this world.” The pastor flashes a million-dollar smile in his thousand-dollar suit as members of the congregation beam back their own smile...

Over the past several weeks I have been exposed to many endearing notions of the Love and Grace of God. This past Saturday, I helped to lead worship for an all-day conference at a local church in which the speakers spoke of the beauty and the continual Grace of our Father. One speaker explained that "grace is opposed to earning, but it is not opposed to effort". In other words, we cannot "earn" our faith or the redemption that comes along with grace. It is only by the Love of our Father that we can be made brand new. We are nothing without Him. We were all given a few books to help us in further understanding what it means to live with an understanding of God's Grace, one of which was The Practice of the Presence of God , by brother Lawrence. It is a short book, but it is packed full of such beautifully simple language that describes the joys and fulfillment that comes along with the presence of God. Brother Lawrence explains that it is essential to spend eve...

Life lately for me has been quite tedious and uninteresting. My days are dull and uneventful, and I’ve noticed that moments of true happiness are rare and few. I feel like I have been simply pushing my way through life – through the thirteen-hour workdays and hardly restful nights; through the long, lonely, and boring days at my apartment, and through the notions of apathy that seem to so frequently invade my thoughts. I’ve tried, rather unsuccessfully, to combat the problems currently facing me, but I’ve come to realize that I am in a spiritual rut. I’ve fallen again into the strange comfort of convenient Christianity. I simply go through the motions and choose to believe in a God who is only there for me to get what I want. I never choose to sacrifice anything lest I be robbed of the few comforts I have and choose to hold onto. I find it odd, that though I know that being a follower of Christ is about more than a simple transaction between man and a Deity, I still so of...